Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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