i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
