Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
