Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
