i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
