She's JV to your varsity
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
