I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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