Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
