yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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