3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
