Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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