i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
