I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
