Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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