Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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