My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar