I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
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were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
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Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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