i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
