Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
