it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
