even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
