dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
