i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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