Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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