And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
