mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
