Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
