my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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