I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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