Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
