i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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