Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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