FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
