Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize