dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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