There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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