Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
