yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
