her vagine was all disorganized.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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