Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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