They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
