She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
