he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
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The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
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He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages