i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???