Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
