oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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