My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
