Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
third nipple confirmed
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
