thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
