its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
