Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
