Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
