I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Randomize
