I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
