You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
